Comments on: Just wondering http://youthministrytv.com/2007/08/30/just-wondering/ Thu, 08 Jan 2009 11:18:16 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.2 By: Dennis http://youthministrytv.com/2007/08/30/just-wondering/#comment-10846 Dennis Sat, 01 Sep 2007 01:34:07 +0000 http://youthministrytv.com/2007/08/30/just-wondering/#comment-10846 Hey guys. Thanks for those comments. The discussion is always a good one since no young person is isolated. My conversation in class was in the context of telling them that we have to work with parents in our ministries. Hey guys. Thanks for those comments. The discussion is always a good one since no young person is isolated. My conversation in class was in the context of telling them that we have to work with parents in our ministries.

]]> By: Luke http://youthministrytv.com/2007/08/30/just-wondering/#comment-10840 Luke Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:06:31 +0000 http://youthministrytv.com/2007/08/30/just-wondering/#comment-10840 Many of my students have the same reaction. I spent a lot of time working in camp ministry and found one of the greatest tools was that we, as counselors, were rather... anonymous. A camper could share things about home knowing that what he said stayed at camp, as though all the "spiritual baggage" was left behind when he returned home at the end of the week. I have the specific case now as a youth pastor where a student doesn't want to tell me things based solely on the fact that I might have to talk to Mom about it. If it's something where I wouldn't have to call her mother, she'll share freely, if it's something where I might, she keeps to herself. I think that students are often looking for a more objective person who is outside the home. If home is where the perceive all the problems to be, than we as "outsiders" are let off the hook in some ways because they don't see us as part of the dilemma. When we start talking with the parents we become part of the internal drama, not part of the outside solution. All that being said, I am a firm believer that you will minister far greater with the aid of parents than you could ever hope to without. The bumpy patch of getting a teen to understand that it's for their own good is often overshadowed by the effectiveness of the ministry you're able to provide in tandem with mom, dad, or both. Many of my students have the same reaction. I spent a lot of time working in camp ministry and found one of the greatest tools was that we, as counselors, were rather… anonymous. A camper could share things about home knowing that what he said stayed at camp, as though all the “spiritual baggage” was left behind when he returned home at the end of the week.
I have the specific case now as a youth pastor where a student doesn’t want to tell me things based solely on the fact that I might have to talk to Mom about it. If it’s something where I wouldn’t have to call her mother, she’ll share freely, if it’s something where I might, she keeps to herself.
I think that students are often looking for a more objective person who is outside the home. If home is where the perceive all the problems to be, than we as “outsiders” are let off the hook in some ways because they don’t see us as part of the dilemma. When we start talking with the parents we become part of the internal drama, not part of the outside solution.
All that being said, I am a firm believer that you will minister far greater with the aid of parents than you could ever hope to without. The bumpy patch of getting a teen to understand that it’s for their own good is often overshadowed by the effectiveness of the ministry you’re able to provide in tandem with mom, dad, or both.

]]> By: Br. Dubay http://youthministrytv.com/2007/08/30/just-wondering/#comment-10838 Br. Dubay Fri, 31 Aug 2007 12:24:07 +0000 http://youthministrytv.com/2007/08/30/just-wondering/#comment-10838 After 20 years of this kind of ministry I have found that sometimes you have to risk moving away from the child to make contact and minister to the parent. After all, who is the parent? Me or the Parent? Who has the primary ministry to the child, me or the parent? Who has the best opportunity to minister to that child over his/her lifetime..Me or well you get it. And, thankfully, I've found that kids recover and remain connected to their youth minister. The Youth Minister should remain in prayer, and remain a mature adult while the reconnection takes place... All is possible in Christ. Peace After 20 years of this kind of ministry I have found that sometimes you have to risk moving away from the child to make contact and minister to the parent. After all, who is the parent? Me or the Parent? Who has the primary ministry to the child, me or the parent? Who has the best opportunity to minister to that child over his/her lifetime..Me or well you get it. And, thankfully, I’ve found that kids recover and remain connected to their youth minister. The Youth Minister should remain in prayer, and remain a mature adult while the reconnection takes place… All is possible in Christ.

Peace

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